Small Town Mommy

Entering the Terrible Twos with My 22-Month-Old Daughter

I’m starting to think that the “terrible twos” are a lot less of a specific age and more of a mindset. At least, that’s what I’m experiencing with Brynlee, my 22-month-old daughter. For the last few weeks, it’s been one tantrum after another, and honestly, I’m just trying to figure out how to keep my cool and make it through the day while keeping both my kiddos happy.

Brynlee’s personality has always been full of energy, curiosity, and a little stubborn streak, but now that she’s getting closer to two, it’s like her willpower has gone into overdrive. It feels like everything is a “no.” I ask her if she wants her snack—no. If she wants to put on her shoes—no. If she wants to sit down to eat dinner—no. And with every “no” comes a mini tantrum, followed by tears, and sometimes even throwing herself on the floor.

You know, the classic “terrible twos” stuff.

It’s honestly a little overwhelming. I’m still in the early stages of figuring out how to navigate it all while also caring for my 4-month-old son, Beckett. The newborn stage was exhausting, but I knew what I was dealing with. I could anticipate his needs (or at least try my best), and for the most part, he was happy to just snuggle and nap in my arms. Now that he’s getting a little older, he’s becoming more alert and needs more attention and interaction, too. So there I am, in the midst of a tantrum from Brynlee, trying to keep Beckett from crying because he’s hungry or needs a diaper change, all while desperately hoping for just five minutes to breathe.

I won’t lie—it’s tough. Some days I feel like I’m juggling plates, with everything teetering on the edge of crashing down. But I know this phase won’t last forever, and I’m trying to keep perspective and remind myself that Brynlee is learning and growing, even if it’s through these difficult moments. She’s testing boundaries, learning how to communicate her wants and needs, and figuring out how to navigate her feelings in a world that often doesn’t make sense to her.

So how do I handle it all? Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t always have the answers, and I definitely don’t do it perfectly. But here are a few things I’ve been trying to keep in mind:

1. Stay Calm (Even When It’s Hard)
   When Brynlee is having a meltdown, I’ve learned that my own response matters more than I sometimes think. It’s easy to get frustrated and snap, especially when I’m already exhausted, but staying calm and gentle helps her feel safe. She doesn’t always calm down immediately, but I try to remember that this is a big emotional moment for her and that she’s still learning how to process those feelings.
2. Pick My Battles
   Some things are worth pushing, like getting her to wear her shoes so we can go outside, but other things—like whether she wants to wear the purple shirt or the pink one—are just not worth fighting over. Giving her some autonomy over small choices has helped reduce the frequency of tantrums.
3. Positive Reinforcement
   When Brynlee does something I’m really proud of—like picking up her toys without being asked—I make sure to praise her enthusiastically. Positive reinforcement helps her see what behaviors I value, and it’s a nice reminder that while tantrums are part of this stage, so are all the sweet and thoughtful moments.
4. Distraction is My Friend
   With Beckett in the mix, sometimes I need to distract Brynlee to avoid a meltdown when I have my hands full. Whether it’s putting on her favorite song, offering her a new toy, or suggesting we “help” mom with something, getting her attention focused on something positive can often help shift the mood.
5. Ask for Help
   This is one of the hardest things for me to remember. I’m naturally a bit of a control freak, and I really want to do it all on my own. But asking my husband, Boden, for help has made a world of difference. Whether it’s taking over with Beckett so I can focus on Brynlee or vice versa, splitting the load is essential for my sanity. And I know it helps my kids, too—they both deserve my undivided attention, even if it’s just for a little while.

Honestly, I don’t know what the next few months will look like. Will Brynlee’s tantrums get worse before they get better? Probably. But I have to remind myself that this is just a phase—and not the end of the world. I’m just doing my best, one day at a time, to help her grow through this stage while managing life with my little boy.

I think that’s the hardest part of being a mom—letting go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. The reality is, some days will be hard, but there will also be moments of joy, growth, and connection. And those moments are the ones I’ll hold onto while riding out the “terrible twos.”

Surviving the terrible twos? Spill the secrets! Drop your best (or funniest) toddler-taming tricks in the comments!