Small Town Mommy

Breastfeeding Beckett: The Most Beautiful, Hard, Life-Changing Journey

For the past four months, I have been on the most incredible, exhausting, painful, and beautiful journey of my life—breastfeeding my sweet boy, Beckett. I always knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I had no idea how deeply it would impact me, how much it would challenge me, and how profoundly it would bond us together.

Breastfeeding is more than just feeding—it’s connection, it’s sacrifice, it’s love in its purest form. In so many ways, it feels like Beckett and I are still one person, just as we were when I carried him inside me. Every time he nurses, it’s as if our hearts sync up again, reminding me that my body is still his home.

But that doesn’t mean it’s been easy.

With my daughter, Brynlee, I wanted so badly to breastfeed, but my body had other plans. I struggled with low supply, and no matter what I tried, I felt like I couldn’t feed her enough. It was mentally and emotionally draining, and eventually, after two months, I made the heartbreaking decision to stop. Letting go of that journey with her was incredibly hard, and I carried a lot of guilt, even though I knew fed is best.

So, when I started breastfeeding Beckett, I was determined to make it work, but I was also scared. Would my body fail me again? Would I go through the same feelings of defeat?

This journey has been different, but not without its challenges. There have been moments of pain, exhaustion, and frustration—times I’ve questioned whether I could keep going. The late nights, the cluster feedings, the sore nipples, the feeling of giving so much of myself without a break. There have been times I wanted to quit.

And yet, I can’t.

Because every time I look down at my son—his tiny fingers gripping my shirt, his little sighs of contentment, the way he gazes up at me as if I am his entire world—I know this is worth it. I know this bond we’ve built is something I’ll cherish forever.

Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most beautiful. It has changed me as a mother, as a woman, as a person. It has shown me strength I didn’t know I had. And while I know this season won’t last forever, I will hold on to every moment, every cuddle, every connection that reminds me we are still so deeply intertwined.

To any mama on this journey—whether it’s easy or hard, short or long, filled with joy or struggle—you are amazing. You are enough. And whatever your journey looks like, the love you pour into your baby is what truly matters.

For now, I’ll keep soaking in these moments with Beckett, knowing that even in the hardest times, this is something truly special.